Twenty five years ago today a commitment was made, of course we didn’t know we were in a contract we were just two drunken youths messing about, going further than we probably intended. There was a product to this coupling, a relationship. Something I had not planned on, my life was not in order, chaos reigned, I was working full time in a bar whilst attending an odd lecture at uni, whilst drinking copious quantities of vodka, brandy and Koelsch. I had a total deathwish mentality and pursued dangerous sport and leisure activities – all were intended to stop my brain working. None worked.
Amazingly pregnancy mushed my mind, I got tired for the first time in my adult life, I could sleep, albeit a hour or two. and I loved to rest. The nothingness I had long aimed for came naturally. Now for some Godincidence and intervention:
On my 21st birthday I asked God for a baby (I didn’t specify anything else but I assumed it would be a girl)
21 days before my next birthday I gave birth to my son, my husband was present, (also not asked for)
Twenty four years later I meet a wise young lady of twenty four who was born at the same time that I was asking God for my baby. This young lady is now my sister in Christ.
So how does this help me today, well God didn’t just bless me with a boy child. My son had multiple disabilities, and I have learned so much from him.
The most recent occasion was when he got coerced into visiting a healer. He spent five hours being pulled and prodded. Afterwards he just asked me to make an appointment with a physio, he felt that there would be no healing, in himself, he believes that God gave him the disabilities to inspire others, to encourage others and vitally to challenge others. He inspires, encourages and challenges not just others but me too.
He has such an optimistic streak, one time he was potentially facing dialysis and when I explained what it involved, he said, cool I can play games without you telling me to stop lounging around. My son is way cool.
Every time I face a barrier, a small pebble that trips me up or a ten foot wall, and forget to pray, he is there in my head reminding me, that all things are possible, just let go and fly.
28 Do you not know?
Have you not heard?
The LORD is the everlasting God,
the Creator of the ends of the earth.
He will not grow tired or weary,
and his understanding no one can fathom.
29 He gives strength to the weary
and increases the power of the weak.
30 Even youths grow tired and weary,
and young men stumble and fall;
31 but those who hope in the LORD
will renew their strength.
They will soar on wings like eagles;
they will run and not grow weary,
they will walk and not be faint.
Lord, thank you for the gifts and blessings you have sent me, for the ones I have ignored in so long, and for the ones that remind me daily of your love for me. Lord, only you can know how grateful I am for the changes you have made in my life, for so long I hid from you, I hid my sinful life from you, although now I know there is no hiding place for sin, you are my hiding place when things get too much, you are my one and only hope.
Lord, again today I was thinking of this country, of the young people who must emigrate to pursue careers, of the families ripped apart by debt, by circumstances, by abuse. Lord I lift these people up to you, that they may find the peace that can only be found in you. Lord I thank you for the marriage I have, that it is fused through you and that you have blessed it. Lord I thank you for my husband and my children, all different and all equal in your eyes. Lord use me, however you want, I am ready and I have my hand up, Lord thank you. Amen