retreat thoughts 3:
How often have I said “I’m fine” or “everything is grand” when clearly nothing was. In this pandemic time, there have been times when I have been overwhelmed. Overwhelmed by grief, uncertainty, anxiety, not knowing, not understanding. Words like worry, isolation, lack of control, too much control over small things, panic, anger, frustration, reactive, cower, hide and check-out have all at some point been evidenced in my life, in Covid-19 times.
But pretending is the one that was most comfortable because it was I knew best from all of my life. Pretending that all is well when really it was not. So how do I now respond, how have I learned to respond in this time of complete uncertainty: trusting in God. I have vocalised this when people ask – how are you and the multitude of questions about the future and the plain answer is “I don’t know but I am trusting in God. “
I have learned that I do not have to spill my guts, tell the whole gory story of how I am feeling because I am trusting that God has this. That he has me in the shadow of his wing.
Do not be anxious …Philippians 4:6-7 NIV
Yesterday I sat in the garden for a few minutes just listening to the cuckoo who has moved into the neighbourhood. He/she had no answers, no questions just the plain statement – Cuck-oo.
The plain statement for me is “I am me, I am a child of God and a follower of Jesus.” I am trusting in God in this season of uncertainty. I am living in the here and now reality of the Kingdom of God. I have accepted the invitation.